Never Let Zack Use Scissors
by Micheal Lee
Summary: This is what happens when you trust Zack Fair and Cloud Strife with a pair of scissors, late at night, when everyone's asleep. Things could go dead wrong. Pre-Nibelheim. Mild OOC. Read and Review, please!


**Never Let Zack ****Use Scissors**

_All characters and events are fictious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental_. _Copyright ©Micheal Lee 2008. All rights reserved. No portion of this work of fiction may be reproduced in any form or by any means without written permission from the author._

**From Micheal**: Some people deserve a damn good thanking – my readers! Thanks a lot for the 1000 over hits for Roses and Wine, you really made my day! Oh, and not to mention - a few other people would like to thank you warmly too, and they are: Sephiroth, Cloud, Zack, Angeal, JENOVA, Tseng, Tifa, Aeris, Cait Sith, Vincent, Hojo, Gast, Marlene, Red XIII, Elena, Tidus (whoops, wrong game!), Yuffie, Reeve, Weiss, Nero, Shalua, Shelke and Don Corneo. Waaait, I think I left out a few important people. Let's see, it was Sephiroth, Cloud, Zack, Angeal, JENOVA …

Ah, what the heck! Enjoy, and kindly leave me a review, my babies. :)

------------------------

Genesis sat from a distance, eyeing the pale warrior with ebon hair who was staring suspiciously at him. Why did _he_ have to come? Everyone on Gaia who were in their right state of mind knew you couldn't possibly trust him! This so called Angeal, as he was promptly named, would be the downfall of their journey into the mountains of Nibelheim! He let out a grunt as he flipped open a small, pocket-sized book entitled 'LOVELESS' and began reading.

'What have you got there, Genesis?' came a cheerful and bright voice from behind. The auburn-haired man looked over his shoulder and saw two figures: two youthful soldiers, Zack and Cloud, grinning from ear to ear. They came as accompaniment on the men's mission, of course.

Genesis emitted a theatrical sigh as he brushed strands of red from his face and profusely offered the boys his book, who accepted it graciously.

'Why, thank you, Genesis!' said Zack, bowing with exaggerated courtesy before plopping onto the ground beside him. Genesis, who had his head buried in his left hand, lifted it up and smiled thoughtfully. Yes, maybe there was some hope for the little company. At these words, Genesis shot another dirty look towards Angeal who was currently speaking with Sephiroth.

However, his thoughts were interspersed by Zack's next words:

'We were noticing, Genesis, that you're acting mighty strangely towards Angeal over there,' observed the cadet, not missing the look of hatred in the man's eyes.

'_Zack_!' hissed Cloud in a tone that would not be mistaken for a whisper. 'Everyone knows Genesis doesn't get along with … Angeal.'

Genesis grunted yet once again as he heard this statement. 'It is not that, you know. It's just … ' he paused, as a sneaky plan began to unfold its way into his mind Oh, this was going to be a _very_ amusing day.

'It's just that … Angeal cannot be trusted!' Genesis continued, allowing that distorted look to creep up on his face – just for emphasis. Now, the two young men switched glances at each other, clearly dumbfounded.

'What do you mean?' inquired Cloud warily, glancing over to the black-haired man who was still in deep conversation with the legendary General.

'Well … ' Genesis began in a very cautious tone, beckoning them closer. 'Angeal is the Dark Descendant of the Hume race.'

At this, Zack and Cloud looked at each other in utter bafflement, both raising an eyebrow. Then, they turned to Genesis. 'The Dark Descendant of the Hume race?' they chorused. 'What's that?'

'Evil beings who spend most, if not all, of their time lurking in the shadows! It is said … that some are known to kill, err, descendants of other races and have them for elevenses. Their greed runs deep, and so does their lust to dominate!' explained Genesis in a terrifying tone.

Eyes opened wide with frozen terror, Zack and Cloud looked back over their shoulders at the former's mentor. Angeal felt their stares and gave them a mighty big grin before fixing his attention onto Sephiroth.

'Uh … Zack …' whined Cloud, as he grabbed his best friend's stiff arm. 'He gave me an evil grin, that man!'

'He … he gave us all an evil grin, Cloud … ' agreed Zack defensively. Genesis tried to suppress a snicker. Quickly, Zack turned to him (who was looking important) for possible solutions.

'Oi, Genesis! What do we do?' cried Zack worriedly, wringing his hands through his dark hair and screwing his face in agony.

_Hmm_ … thought Genesis. The night was already proving to be most profitable … and amusing.

'OK, you'll have to wait until he's asleep. Then …'

'Are you sure he's asleep, Zack?' asked Cloud as they crept closer to the snoozing Angeal, torchlight in hand.

'Of course!' affirmed Zack. 'Genesis told us that he sleeps with his mouth open!'

'What if a fly or two goes in?'

'That's the fly's business, isn't it?'

'Well, hurry up, then!' urged Cloud, nudging the boy in the arm.

They approached Angeal's head. Zack grabbed a handful of his hair and unsheathed a dagger from his pocket. He hesitated; Cloud looked at him, curious.

'What's wrong, Zack?'

'I … just don't know if I should be doing this. I mean, it could cost us our career in SOLDIER if we're found out. And he seems awfully proud of his locks.' He slowly brought the grasped hair to the gleaming edge of this knife.

'But you heard what Genesis said, Zack: we've got to get some of his hair and make a wish so that he won't eat us!'

'Eh, what's going on? What's all the yowling about?' cried a voice. Angeal sat up with distinct quickness and grabbed his hair. He appeared sleepy-eyed and tousle-haired. Zack and Cloud looked at each other, eyes wide in horror.

'Don't eat us!' cried Cloud, falling to his knees and clasping his hands in a prayer fashion. 'We're terribly sorry!' A glossy tear formed at the corner of his blue eyes and made its noble descend down his porcelain cheek at perfect timing. Angeal looked at them, thunderstruck.

'_Eat_ you?' he enquired, scratching his head. He was expecting to see a hint of humour written on their faces, but they remained grave. When no response was forthcoming, he proceeded, 'I, err, did hear you say you were going to hack my hair off to make a wish, no?'

'Yes,' both of them chanted in unison, looking crestfallen but still shuddering in fear.

'Fear not! No harm shall befall you.' He laughed. The young men, however, found it disdainful.

'B-but, Genesis said you were a Dark Descendant of the Hume race!'

Angeal, who had been laughing, now bore a serious look. He was so sombre, Cloud thought someone must have died then. 'I am a Elenian Descendant and yes, a Dark one,' he explained. 'So are all the people who never saw the light of valour, but that doesn't make us evil! I thought you would know that.'

Zack and Cloud blushed furiously. 'But Genesis said – '

'What would Genesis know of such matters?' interjected Angeal, waving his hand casually. 'After all, he is another specimen in Hojo's thrills.' Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. He wouldn't normally do this, but something _had_ to be done about that blasted blighter filling the young cadets' minds with nonsensical facts. 'But after all, ' he contemplated aloud, a smirk forming upon his fair face. 'I cannot blame him, his actions cannot be controlled.'

Zack and Cloud looked at each other again, then focused on Angeal.

'What do you mean?' inquired the shorter cadet, Cloud.

'I mean, did you ever look at his hair? Quite … unnatural, but he seems to enjoy it. The only problem is that those long locks of red tend to give him a bad temper. A _very_ bad temper at that. And it makes him lie, and steal – yes, steal. He'll steal Rufus' polka-dotted frilled underwear that you're not suppose to know about if a good watch is not kept on him.'

'Oh, no!' wailed Zack. 'I can't believe we trusted that old fart! What do we do now?'

'You must hew the hair off,' he said plainly. The boys gasped.

'He won't be happy,' said a startled Cloud as he shifted his gaze to his friend who incidentally said: 'We'll be caught for sure!'

The burly soldier merely shook his head.

'He won't catch you. Some people, like Genesis, sleep like bumps on a log. Trust me, he'll never know what happened. And yes, believe you me, he will be much happier without it. And he will even stop making such a sceptical drama of himself with that stupid book,' said Angeal reasonably. 'So, if you look at it, you're really doing a big favour for him.'

'Well, OK. Come one, Cloud,' called Zack as they spun around and made their way over to Genesis' sleeping body.

Zack and Cloud approached the slumbering form by tip-toeing. At least he looked asleep, or so they thought. It was unusually dark and so, they weren't able to see his face, let alone his bristly head. However, they managed to, somehow, by feeling their way like a pair of blind underground moles. Cloud snickered as Zack swiftly cut off a good portion of it, and they began to run quickly to the other side of the campsite.

'I swear, my heart was hammering so violently, it would have awoken the dead!' laughed Zack as they approached his mentor, who was leaning against a boulder.

'Let's hope not,' he replied with an impish grin. 'You did manage to bring it back, didn't you?'

Zack nodded as he triumphantly held up a long piece of silver … SILVER?! Angeal's eyes widened in sheer horror.

'_Stupid_ _boy_!' he cried, seizing the silky fluff of platinum blond from Zack who looked utterly hurt by this. Angeal took a deep breath and slowly exhaled the words with his right eye twitching uncontrollably and his legs trembling like a pair of maracas, ' … this isn't Genesis' hair!'

'But if it's not Genesis', it cannot be - ' Suddenly, Zack's mouth fell open in unadulterated shock. 'It's Se – Se – SEPHIROTH'S!' The legendary swordsman was the only one to have silver hair. He turned to a stunned Cloud.

Angeal, on the other hand, could now feel his face becoming red with anxiety. The panic-stricken man suddenly gave himself a silly grin. This wasn't happening …_this wasn't happening_ … THIS WASN'T HAPPENING! The words flowed through his head like an obscure mantra. He was going to wake up any second to a nice, sunny day with his band of merry men, travelling together into the deep northern mountains to investigate a reactor. Yes, a band of merry men, which included – Angeal gulped – an enraged, not to mention infuriated General who was going to grind his bones into powder. He knew it anyway, he had the distinct feeling that Sephiroth was going to wake up and find a clump of his hair missing.

'Why do I always have to be caught!' he cried, falling to his knees.

Zack came up with a bright solution. 'Err, Angeal, I think I have an idea that will get us all out of trouble.' Angeal looked up at him.

'Oh, no you don't!' interjected Cloud. 'Not another one of your brilliant ideas! It's bad enough having to follow you around, what more being serenaded by a moron with all the entertainment value of a tap-dancing oyster –'

'Let him speak!' said Angeal, as he dragged his way along the dusty grounds, looking rather desperate.

Zack shook his head and then said, 'OK, here's what we do …'

The sweet singing of birds was what woke most of them on that fine morning. Everyone got up in the same order as usual, except for Angeal (who was awake all night, of course.). He already told them about their little predicament and they all agreed not to say anything as it would be best for them to keep their mouths shut.

'Hmph,' thought Tifa, their navigator – although why four experienced warriors and a measly grunt who happened to be from said town would need one, the author will never know – harrumphed, though she was a little amused at the swordsman's appearance.

'Err … how are you feeling?' asked Angeal timidly to Sephiroth.

'How am I feeling? On top of the world! I feel twenty pounds lighter! Like a great burden has been lifted off my shoulders!' the General exclaimed excitedly. The two young cadets guffawed at this, but Sephiroth only grinned. 'I think it's about time to get Genesis up. I shall see to that!' he laughed as he walked over to the snoring man. Sephiroth looked down fondly over his friend, but then spotted something in his hand; it looked like a hairball to him. Genesis was stroking it while muttering something which sounded like, 'Will I get to look upon the White Lady?' Actually, in truth to tell, Sephiroth thought it looked a lot like his own …

'_GENESIS_!!!'

**The End**


End file.
